“It’s Diwali, Doc!” she exclaimed. “I love making all kinds of sweets at home. My boys will love it and I love feeding them”. For most people reading this, it portrays a picture of festivities, joy and mother’s love expressed through food. To me, it is a worry. The lady in question who has 2 teenage sons, has been my client for about 2 months now. I am treating her Rheumatoid arthritis combined with Ankylosing spondylitis (AS). Excruciating pain has been her constant companion for 8 years. 80% of it has subsided, she says to me daily now. But, when she works for 6-8 hrs straight, cooking in the kitchen, I am forced to chide her. She also whizzes around on her scooty for 2-3 hours in heavy traffic. Or she drives 7-8 hours in a single day between towns.
We do alternate-day check-in calls. Because of her condition, checking on her pain levels is a constant “I know you won’t like hearing it, but my right hand and arm is in great pain. But I know why it happened. I spent 4 hours making murukku, last 2 days !! I know I should have rested in between, but then it’s Diwali, Doc”, she reiterates.
Strain
Just last week, she mentioned that her shoulders—where her Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) pain is most severe—were hurting again. Curious, I asked about the cause. She replied, “Maybe it’s from driving my scooty for 4 hours with my son! I know, my posture on the scooty isn’t great.” I could only nod in agreement.
It’s astonishing how often we’re ‘blind’ to our own habits and lifestyle. After all, our lifestyle is simply a series of habits repeated over time, which can significantly contribute to disease—hence the term lifestyle disease. Both our body and mind, even in their healthiest states, have limits. They can function optimally for a set number of hours, provided they receive adequate rest and sleep. Each of us has a threshold. While it’s possible to train our bodies and minds to endure more over time, the need for sufficient rest and recovery is non-negotiable.
Pushing our physical and mental limits beyond their current capacity, especially on a consistent basis, is a recipe for breakdown. This overexertion is particularly harmful when we’re in the process of healing or recovery.
Hence, the need for me to chide!
Busyness
In today’s world, busyness has unfortunately become a badge of honor. Being constantly busy is often equated with being important or successful, while those who embrace a slower, more relaxed pace are perceived as less productive.
I’ve observed this in my own life, even among friends. Although I still handle the same workload—perhaps even more—I approach it with calmness and clarity, free from anxiety. I plan my day efficiently, allowing room for flexibility, unexpected changes, and spontaneous encounters. Yet, this approach is often misunderstood, especially in North Indian circles, where being relaxed is labeled as being “welah” (meaning “useless”).
This obsession with busyness is a trap that many, including my friends and clients, fall into. The constant need to stay occupied keeps the mind and body in a perpetual state of stress, leaving little time for true relaxation. Busyness becomes the perfect distraction—a way to avoid facing oneself. Society even applauds this as a virtue.
Women, in particular, are more susceptible to the busyness bug, juggling jobs, homes, and children, as if they should never have a moment to sit quietly with themselves. But if anxiety is your constant companion, then busyness is merely a coping mechanism. It keeps you moving from one task to another, preventing you from truly resting.
Don’t fall into this trap. If anxiety is your struggle, try doing less and doing it slowly. Embrace moments of stillness; they are not a sign of laziness but a path to clarity and peace.
Stress
Handling stress poorly can be a recipe for disaster. It’s not the existence of stress that’s the issue but how we manage it. Stress can stem from our immediate environment or be self-inflicted. The need for perfection—in actions, words, and appearance—or constantly trying to please others, overthinking, and worrying, all originate from within.
Keeping the body in a constant state of stress is like running from a tiger all day long. Imagine the strain and exhaustion! After that, it’s no wonder we crave comfort foods, often high in sugar and carbs. Chronic stress overuses the sympathetic nervous system, which is meant for survival. This “fight or flight” mode disrupts rest and healing, preventing the body from recharging.
In many ways, stress is even more draining than physical overwork. To cope, the body releases cortisol and adrenaline, throwing your hormones off balance and leading to a cycle of dependency—think “adrenaline rush.” It’s the thrill you get from high-stress situations or adventure sports, which can be addictive.
But beware—adrenal fatigue is real. It’s a clear sign you’ve pushed your stress levels too far. Recognizing this early can be the first step toward recovery and reclaiming balance in your life.
Lifestyle
As a naturopath who uses food as medicine, I often emphasize the importance of dietary habits. However, addressing lifestyle and personal habits can be far more challenging. Why? Because we are often blind to our own routines and tend to underestimate their significance.
For example, it might take weeks for someone to mention that they don’t clear their bowels first thing in the morning. Even if they feel the urge, they prioritize getting their child ready for school instead.
Our lifestyles are shaped by various factors, such as upbringing, aspirations, and the desire to conform. I’ve previously written about how lifestyle is a bigger inheritance than our genes. More than genetics, it’s our daily habits—like eating meals together as a family—and the values we pass down (such as how we view jobs, wealth, and social status) that truly shape our lives. We often adopt these patterns unconsciously.
Aspiration and conformity also strongly influence our habits. We have all experienced moments of realization, like when a host at a Diwali party tells me at 11 PM, “I can’t eat this late; it just sits in my stomach and ruins my sleep.” I suggest, “You’re the host—you could have had a lunch gathering.” She replies, “Don’t be ridiculous, people only come for dinner.” When I propose serving dinner at 7:30, like a Western supper, she laughs it off, saying, “Who serves dinner that early at a dinner party?”
Conformity, trumps realization!
The other problem with habits is, we hold onto them like our identity. Even if I can understand that a habit is doing me more harm than good, I have gotten so used to it that letting it go is like letting go of a part of me. And most of us hate letting go! We hold onto things so tightly, even those that are killing us, because somehow these habits define us! And perhaps they do. The friends that we drink with, have food binges with, hang out for a smoke with, suddenly are uncomfortable and lost if these habits change for us. We hate acknowledging how superficial some of these associations are, and if we haven’t spent the time forming deeper bonds beyond these shared habits, we can feel a certain loss or completely lost at sea!
Community, is more important than health!
And then there is the wife who wants to eat dinner with her husband. But the husband will only eat at 11 pm after his drinks. Every time she eats at 11 pm, she doesn’t feel good, doesn’t get a good night’s sleep, yet repeats it the next day!
Family, she will tell me, is more important than health!
4 Habits That Transform Health: Self-Determination
If community and family influence our health more than our genes, are we blessed or cursed by default? Perhaps. But I believe in self-determination, not just accepting what’s “given.” That’s why it’s worth changing the 3-4 key habits that make the biggest difference.
1. Prioritize Early Dinners This is non-negotiable. It might seem uncool, but even top athletes swear by it. If you need to eat earlier than others at a party (which I often do), go for it. Eating 2.5-3 hours before bedtime, ideally around 7 PM, is crucial. It’s a habit worth passing down to your kids. If you get hungry at night, 2-3 hrs post dinner, eat any seasonal fruit (not dry fruits or banana. These serve a specific purpose). Depending on availability, papaya, pear, apple or guava are best.
2. Wake Up at the Same Time Daily It still amazes me how some people sleep until noon on weekends. You’re not catching up on lost sleep—you’re disrupting your circadian rhythm. This natural cycle works on a 24-hour loop, and restorative sleep only happens within that window
3. Poop every 24 hours. Your colon, like your circadian rhythm, follows a schedule. If waste stays in your colon longer than 24 hours, your large intestine starts reabsorbing toxins into the bloodstream. Keep your gut health in check by ensuring regular bowel movements. Read this to know how to maintain gut health.
4. Manage stress and overstrain. Chronic stress, anxiety, and fear are not badges of honor. These are issues that require tools and support to overcome. If you struggle with these daily, seek help and teach your kids coping strategies. Occasional stress is normal, but letting it define your daily life calls for immediate action.
Pro Tip: Want to uncover your daily habits and emotional patterns? Keep a journal for a week. Document everything you do, from wake-up to bedtime, and note how you feel throughout the day. Be brutally honest—only you will read this. It’s a powerful way to gain self-awareness.
