Breaking Free from Anxiety through Habits & Lifestyle

Is anxiety a scattered mind, restless body, lack of attention, weak nerves, or fear about the future?  It is all these and more.
Is it driven by physiology: Weak nervous system (hyper- sensitive nerves), weak heart/thyroid imbalances(palpitations) or a troubled gut (IBS)? Or are our lifestyle habits an equal contributor?
In my experience, if you have had anxiety for a while, your behaviour (which by now will have become your habits) and some parts of your physiology will reflect it.

This post will focus on habits. Habits performed with such regularity that they can be called lifestyle.

What really is ‘Lifestyle’? I googled the word ‘lifestyle’ and the first definition that came up said: “the way in which a person lives”. 
I agree and  will add, ” Its our daily habits”. Trekking in the hills, once in 6 months, is not lifestyle, but if you exercise 4-5 days a week to prepare for that trek, then exercise is part of your lifestyle.

Acceptance

My therapist friend would often use terms like emotional dysregulation, impulsivity and anxiety to describe some of my behaviour. Still, no therapist ever gave me a clinical diagnosis of any kind of anxiety disorder. Only an Ayurveda doctor and a medical specialist in Moolchand hospital, Delhi had labelled some issues like palpitations and shortness of breath as anxiety.

I scoffed at them initially. In my head I was the quintessential happy-go- lucky Punjabi! The false beliefs we hold about ourselves! This was almost 5 years back.

Anyway, I have grown since then and accepted that anxiety was driving my life.

Once I slowed down and started observing and reflecting, I noticed how much anxiety was present in my day- to- day living. It was like having a master who called all the shots, this powerful being whom I felt helpless around. It showed up a lot and disrupted aspects of my life but I was still not too dysfunctional.

You know how they say, “Once you see something, you cannot unsee it”. That is what happened with me. I could no longer ignore it. Also, I wanted my life to be better, so the internal motivation to do something was already there.

Next step was to fully accept and stop running away from it by using known coping mechanisms (busyness, incessant talking, extreme physical activity), and just sit with it.

The more I sat with the discomfort, the unpleasant sensations, the more it taught me about myself and also revealed itself.

I started sensing my anxiety both in my physiology (palpitations, extreme physical restlessness) and my habits (incessant talking, restless eating, scattered attention).

Naturopathy and yoga helped me with my physiological symptoms. I have written about some of the practices here:

https://yoururbannaturopath.com/what-can-we-do-about-anxiety/

I then became conscious of the connection between some of my habits and anxiety. What was driving what was a moot point. The important question was, what can one do about it?

Anxiety and Doing

When anxiety would run high, rarely would any task get completed. If they did, they would often lack quality. Try cooking and see how that turns out. Often, I noticed that I would be easily distracted: a phone call, a sound, anything and everything could distract me.

The trick here is to ‘do one thing at a time’. Finish one task and then move to the next. I often refuse phone calls now, have all WhatsApp notifications turned off and try not to open multiple tabs or scroll mindlessly.

My morning energy is high and earlier would also be accompanied by a racing mind (classic anxiety symptom).

So I would sometimes find myself getting up from the middle of my yoga to go do something in the kitchen. Now, I don’t. 

Remember, ‘One thing at a time’!

These small habits get so ingrained in us that we operate on autopilot. But slowly, and with persistent awareness, these change, and new habits get formed.

The anxious doer is always distracted. Honestly anxiety makes me attention deficient.

• I got myself an adult colouring book and it helps me concentrate, gather my attention.

• I swim long and alone for more than an hour regularly now. That too has helped me concentrate, in addition to all the other benefits that cold water and exercise bring.

Anxiety and Talking

You can tell by how someone speaks whether they are anxious or not. There might be some exceptions, but the common anxious talker talks fast, talks a lot, interrupts others often and shifts from one topic to another.

Anxiety is a ‘constant state of hurry’ and one can notice it in the way someone talks.

The more anxious talker also is a bad lister, grasping very little of what others have said. You might call this an attention problem, and it is largely that. One’s attention is scattered both while talking and listening.

This might sound crazy, but I am teaching myself to talk in long sentences.

• Complete a topic, and then start another one.
• The easier solution though, is to talk less, only when needed and learn to be comfortable with silence.

Anxiety and Eating

My food habits had already changed dramatically once I became a practising naturopath, so what I ate was not a problem. It was how I ate. I have an earlier post on this topic: https://yoururbannaturopath.com/conscious-food-vs-conscious-eating/)

The anxious eater eats in a hurry, in a distracted sort of way, doesn’t easily feel full, and needs a lot of variety. That is how I would eat: I would get up often to fetch something, eat quickly, sometimes start eating before I have sat down.  I would invariably look at my phone while eating. I also would eat and drink often during the day as if my mouth always needed something. And the more the anxiety, the more my desire to put something in my mouth.

Because I eat a lot of raw foods and exercise enough, my distracted eating has so far not damaged my stomach. But I am conscious that it will in the long run and am deliberating trying to change that.

In complete contrast, I look at my sister-in-law. She is the calm-cucumber type (she might have other issues, but anxiety is not her overriding concern). Her food habits are very organised. She eats very regular meals, has a fixed place where she sits and eats. She takes a few minutes arranging her plate and once she sits down with it, she will not get up for 15-20 minutes.

Now context really matters in how food is eaten. Which is why eating meals at workstation or in office settings can often be a bit hurried and distracted. I agree. Though, even there, I believe, if we get deliberate about ‘how’ we eat, we can change a few things.

Like making sure we are sitting down while eating, eating in a fixed place (if possible, let this not be your workstation) and at fixed times, not getting up, unless an absolute must, during the meal.

The other thing about food is that eating is a more enjoyable experience when done with company. Of course, the company needs to be pleasant, and conversations relaxed.

And this is where the challenge of living and working alone creeps. Not having the advantage of family or people to share mealtimes with, one often turns to the TV or looks at the phone while eating.

• The trick is to not start browsing endlessly but have it just play one pleasant, relaxing thing. The same can be done with the phone. That way, these become more a source of relaxation than distraction.
• Talking on the phone while having a meal is a total no- no! The mouth can either talk or chew, and chewing you definitely want to do, especially if you like your carbohydrates.

I know many would say that only focus on the food. Yes, I too find myself easily able to do that when I am at my parent’s place, with 3-4 other people sitting around me. But when I am at home, eating all alone, the quietness can be a bit too much.

• Sitting in the balcony where I can look at the sky, hear birds and see people pass by also make my eating more enjoyable and fairly focused.
• Cafés which allow you to look outside at the hustle and bustle can also sometimes make for enjoyable eating experience, even when you are eating alone.

Reducing Sensory Stimulation

When I initially started doing yoga or going for long walks, I always needed an audio companion. So either it was another human being or the sound of another human being (music/podcast, etc.). I needed to be distracted.

This didn’t help with anxiety. One thing to also learn is that anxiety is often the over stimulation of sensory nerves. To calm down, we want to switch off all sensory inputs.

If you really want to use forms of somatic exercise: -walking/running/swimming/yoga as therapeutic tools, you do them with your full attention. It is only then that they get you in touch with your own body and mind and often teach you to observe the discomforts.

I always do my yoga with eyes closed. Personally, I have found that to be the most effective.

Change or transformation or healing (whatever word catches your fancy) happens! But it is a slow, deliberate process. Small, deliberate and sustained changes in habits can tweak our lifestyle enough and make us calmer, more in sync with ourselves.

I am still a work in progress, but the progress has been noticeable.

 

 

I will end with this quote from Lao Tzu:

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

 

 

To self-manage anxiety also read “what can we do about anxiety”

If you are someone who needs a nudge or more support to get a handle on your anxiety, get in touch for Virtual Online Naturopathy Consultation